Notes &
![Dating can be a misery when you’re 35 and fat.
Dating can be a misery when you’re 35 and not fat.
From the ages of 18 to 26, I dated one man. I was unhappy and insecure. From the ages of 26 to 33, I dated another man. He was unhappy and insecure. We got engaged and I broke it off.
And suddenly I was a single, 30-something. With cats.
I decided to—get this—wait until I lost 50 lbs. to start dating. Sigh. Isn’t that just the most pedestrian of plans? Then I read Marianne and Kate’s book, and I went for it without losing an inch of myself. I decided I’d be more comfortable placing an ad on a BBW site where I wouldn’t have to make a terse declaration of my size at the start of the “About Me” section. (Note: I went with moretolove.com. It offered the most upscale selection of fellows based on some exhaustive and coffee-fueled late night research. But more on that another day.)
I threw myself into the dating project with gusto. I emailed and IM’d with dozens of men. I had a spreadsheet that kept all their usernames and MO’s straight:
YummyChocolate/Lives in Connecticut/Likes cats and BSGBobbyLikesBigGurls/Lives in Jersey/Librarian(maybe too weird)
And so on, and so forth. The list was long. So very long. And in the beginning I was completely indiscriminate about who I would talk to. I let everyone have a piece of my online life. I was nervous and confused, and really, I wanted the whole darn ordeal to be over with already. I was too afraid to really meet anyone in real life, so I tried to keep up with all the pings and emails and requests for naughty cyber chats. I tried to sort out in my own mind what I wanted. After 15 years of serial monogamy, did I maybe just want to have a little fun and NOT find “the one” right away?
… more to come in the next installment of DATING WEDNESDAYS!
[So annoying, right, to leave things in media res? But really, I could go on for days and days about this dating business, so instead I’m going to neatly shove all that angst and amusement into a new post every Wednesday. Unless something really funny happens between Wednesdays—then I’ll just post about that right away.]](http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3f6vzrtC01qzt1tro1_250.jpg)
Dating can be a misery when you’re 35 and fat.
Dating can be a misery when you’re 35 and not fat.
From the ages of 18 to 26, I dated one man. I was unhappy and insecure. From the ages of 26 to 33, I dated another man. He was unhappy and insecure. We got engaged and I broke it off.
And suddenly I was a single, 30-something. With cats.
I decided to—get this—wait until I lost 50 lbs. to start dating. Sigh. Isn’t that just the most pedestrian of plans? Then I read Marianne and Kate’s book, and I went for it without losing an inch of myself. I decided I’d be more comfortable placing an ad on a BBW site where I wouldn’t have to make a terse declaration of my size at the start of the “About Me” section. (Note: I went with moretolove.com. It offered the most upscale selection of fellows based on some exhaustive and coffee-fueled late night research. But more on that another day.)
I threw myself into the dating project with gusto. I emailed and IM’d with dozens of men. I had a spreadsheet that kept all their usernames and MO’s straight:
YummyChocolate/Lives in Connecticut/Likes cats and BSG
BobbyLikesBigGurls/Lives in Jersey/Librarian(maybe too weird)
And so on, and so forth. The list was long. So very long. And in the beginning I was completely indiscriminate about who I would talk to. I let everyone have a piece of my online life. I was nervous and confused, and really, I wanted the whole darn ordeal to be over with already. I was too afraid to really meet anyone in real life, so I tried to keep up with all the pings and emails and requests for naughty cyber chats. I tried to sort out in my own mind what I wanted. After 15 years of serial monogamy, did I maybe just want to have a little fun and NOT find “the one” right away?
… more to come in the next installment of DATING WEDNESDAYS!
[So annoying, right, to leave things in media res? But really, I could go on for days and days about this dating business, so instead I’m going to neatly shove all that angst and amusement into a new post every Wednesday. Unless something really funny happens between Wednesdays—then I’ll just post about that right away.]
